So, this song has been around for awhile, and I actually listened to it a lot while I was writing some of the later Oberon books. It's sooooo Seth! But this accoustic version is one I hadn't heard until recently and it's perfect for the book I'm working on now. A secret project that I still can't talk about.
Suffice it to say I have a hero and heroine who both think a lot about loss and missed chances. It's supposed to be a RomCom but I never do understand the assignment!
Seth chopped savagely at the ground beef browning in the pan, using the spatula like a cleaver as he took out his frustrations on the dinner he was making; reducing the meat to hash. So, he’d said he was making burgers––so what? Change of plans. Deal with it. And if she was disappointed? If she didn’t like it, or if she didn’t want to deal? Well, then she could damn well feed herself.
He wasn’t in the mood to shape the meat into nice, round patties, or to even think about anything that might require that much patience or restraint, two things he was pretty much out of, at the moment. So, all the little details, things like slicing onions, hunting up pickles, toasting rolls or waiting for the friggin’ ketchup to drip out of the bottle, were flat out not gonna happen. They were all completely beyond his abilities to deal with.
Not to mention inquiring as to how Deirdre might want her meat cooked.
He didn’t want to inquire about that. He didn’t want to inquire about anything. So, with his plans to make hamburgers gone to hell, like everything else in his life it seemed, he did what he always did when things got tough. He wussed out. He turned to his family for assistance.
A batch of his mother’s tomato sauce, one of several with which she’d stocked his freezer, simmered in the smaller of his two saucepans, while the water for pasta bubbled away in the other. He paused in his massacre of the meat to add some salt and a pound of Rotelli to the water, then went back on the attack.
Not that the beef needed to be further subdued, but he was just so...fucking...pissed...off! He was furious––with the world in general, and with women in particular.
He was angry with Cara for waking him up too early this morning, for filling his mind with all her stupid, lame-brained, half-baked theories, for confusing the hell out of him. He was angry with Jasmine for being at the center today––when it should have been empty. For being helpful. And cheerful. And too damn smart.
But, first, last and always, he was angry with Deirdre.
For being too good of a liar.
For dropping that bombshell on him about the dogs.
For acting so concerned when he’d gotten upset, for sounding so sincere, looking so sweet.
And for the way she thought he could just turn his feelings for her on and off at will, like I’m some kind of fucking light switch––that most of all.
Time and again he’d gotten his foolish hopes up, only to have them shot down. Something––the words she’d say, the way she’d act––would make him think the two of them were going somewhere; but the minute he responded– Wham! Like a knee to his balls she’d smash his hopes flat. Take that, sucker! Blam!
As he mashed at the meat, grease splattered the stove. God, he was pissed! He was angry, horny, miserable and...confused.
What the hell was he doing wrong, all of a sudden? How come nothing he tried seemed to work with her? He never had that problem before. All the other girls he’d hooked up with had melted for him, with almost no effort at all; even the ones who’d had a reputation for being cold. Not that there’d been many of those. And they’d all seemed to like sex at least as much as he did, too.
But, shit, what did he know? He’d never even left Oberon for more than a few weeks at a time. Maybe Jasmine was right. Maybe there was just something wrong with the girls he’d been hanging with. Or maybe it was Deirdre who was screwed up.
“Want some help?” she asked, coming up behind him. He was so angry, he hadn’t even heard her come in. As she laid a hand on his back, he flinched away.
“Seth? What’s wrong?” She looked surprised by his reaction, maybe even a little hurt. She has to be kidding, right? If anyone should be feeling hurt right now, it was him.
“Nothing. Just...don’t do that anymore.” Under normal circumstances, or even half an hour ago, he’d have been perfectly happy to let her touch him––as much as she wanted. For two whole years it he’d daydreamed endlessly about it: in bed, in the shower, when he was with other girls.
In vivid detail he’d imagine how it would to feel if he were with Deirdre instead, if it were her hands touching, stroking, squeezing him. But, now, when she was here and making him crazy? When she’d just gotten through admitting that she hadn’t thought of him at all while she was gone? When she’d, only a few minutes earlier, been complaining that he was rushing her? And when she wouldn’t let him touch her back? Now, having her touch him was hell.
“Sorry,” she mumbled biting her lip, looking like, any minute, she might start bawling.
And, oh, fuck, no. He couldn’t deal with that tonight, either. He grabbed a large bowl from one of the cabinets and shoved it into her hands. “Here. Why don’t you make us a salad, okay?”
“Okay.” She took the bowl and headed for the refrigerator. “I thought you said you were making hamburgers?”
“I changed my mind.” He turned off the heat under the pan and added the mostly-pureed meat to the sauce. “I didn’t feel like it. We’re having spaghetti.”
“Oh. Well, whatever it is, it sure smells good. Did you just make that sauce?”
“What?” He turned to stare at her in disbelief. “In ten minutes? Of course not. Don’t you know it takes hours for sauce to cook?”
Deirdre shrugged. “No, not really. I just always used the stuff that comes out of jars.”
Of course she did. Shaking his head in disgust, Seth turned back to the stove. He thought briefly about offering to teach her to cook, but then changed his mind. He didn’t want to teach her anything. He didn’t even want to talk to her at this point. The pool house had never seemed as small or as crowded as it did this minute. He had no idea how he was going to get through the night. Especially if it was anything like last night.
https://www.pgforte.com/the-oberon-series
And Shadows Have Their Ending
Oberon Book 9.0
The last two years have not been kind to Seth Cavanaugh. But, he's suffered and grown and he finally feels ready to put his troubled past behind him. So, doesn't it just figure that the girl who caused all the trouble in the first place should pick now to return and cause him even more torment?
Deirdre Delaney Shelton-Cooper has spent the past two years trying to forget the events that marked her first visit to Oberon, but can you ever really forget the memory of your first love, no matter how painful those memories are? It's just her luck the boy she put herself through hell for has turned out to be such a loser.
After a disastrous reunion, they'd both be content to have nothing more to do with each other, if only fate--and one very determined angel--were not conspiring against them.
There are some wounds that time can't heal. There are some dreams that won't come true. But, sometimes, if you're lucky, shadows have their ending. And the love you'd just about given up on returns.
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