So, I was reminded of this excerpt when I saw this picture. I know, there's no sink. But there is a window. I hadn't read this book in a while and I forgot how much I enjoyed it. This is one of many scenes that I have vivid memories of writing. It's funny to look back now and realize that just a few years from when I wrote this scene I, too, would be living in a place where I could watch deer grazing from almost any window in the house. Good times.
There was a small herd of deer in the clearing outside the cabin. Marsha leaned against the edge of the old kitchen sink savoring the crisp, fresh taste of jasmine tea, watching through the window as they grazed. The sky was a light, powder blue, fading to turquoise at the horizon, spotted with the palest of cotton candy clouds. It was a perfect morning. 1Absolutely perfect. And she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d felt this good. She wanted to commit every detail to memory, so she could enjoy it again and again.
But first, she had to get out of here. And away from Sam. As soon as possible.
Too bad her body wasn’t cooperating. She was having a real problem getting her muscles to move at any pace past languid today. Even despite the panic that had flushed her out of bed, only moments after waking up to find herself pressed so closely against him that their lungs had been forced to adopt alternating rhythms. She had been clinging to him, almost! Something she could not recall ever having done with anyone before—not while she was sleeping, that is. In fact, the very best part of Alex’s leaving, as she’d often said, had been the opportunity to reclaim the whole bed for herself.
And yet, it had felt so...pleasant...to wake up like that this morning. For all of about five seconds before she’d figured out what was wrong. Her body had sure picked a hell of a time to start enjoying sharing sleep like that.
Damn it, why now? Why now, while she was in bed with a man with whom she’d probably never share a bed again.
It was time to be realistic. She’d had her fun, last night. And oh, it had been more than fun, much more. But it wasn’t like Sam was suddenly going to discover he was in love with her. And while she didn’t really want to examine her own feelings too closely, she was pretty sure that what she felt for him wasn’t love, either.
It couldn’t be. It had better not be. She really, really hoped it wasn’t.
Oh, Lord. She couldn’t really be that stupid, could she? To fall in love with a man who’d made it clear from the start he wasn’t interested in anything more than a casual affair? A man who wouldn’t even be around in another few weeks? A man who, after turning her world upside down, would just walk out of her life?
Well, okay, so maybe she was that stupid. There was still no point in letting it go any farther—that was a clear no-brainer. What she needed to do now was figure out how to get over him. Because that’s what she was going to have to do, and sooner rather than later.
Probably she shouldn’t sleep with him again. It would have to be easier, wouldn’t it, if she could just go back to thinking of him as a friend? She had lots of friends, after all. And when one of them left town, she usually wasn’t devastated by it.
And what made her think he’d even want to sleep with her again? She’d never had a long-term sexual relationship with anyone other than Alex. Why should this be any different?
Except that it is, that same mutinous little voice she recognized from last night, insisted on suggesting. It has to be.
But forget about that. First things first. She had to get out of here. Now.
Not so fast, the little voice insisted, you really should leave him a note, or something, shouldn’t you? She sighed. She should, of course. Because, while she didn’t want to wake him, she did want to let him know how very grateful she was for last night.
She cringed at that. Perhaps grateful was not the word to use. It made her sound a little more needy than she wanted to appear. Almost as if she were begging him to take her to bed again. Which she wasn’t. Not at all. Unless...well, maybe if he really wanted to. But she would certainly understand if he didn’t.
At least...no, actually, she wasn’t sure she understood anything, this morning. Not her own thoughts and emotions, and certainly not his. And that wasn’t something she felt like admitting to him, either.
“There you are,” he said, and she jumped when she heard his voice, so close behind her. She had been so caught up in her thoughts, she hadn’t even heard his approach. “I wondered where you’d gone.”
“Oh, uh, um, good morning, Sam,” she stammered, as she turned her head to look at him. And froze. Oh, my God.He was naked, except for those heavy silver bracelets at his wrists, and he was gorgeous. His hair was hung loose on his shoulders, his eyes were bright with heat, and his smile—
Quickly, she averted her eyes again, and took a large gulp of tea. She wasn’t up to handling his smile just yet. And maybe not ever, if they had to go back to being friends. As for the rest of him, all those lovely taut muscles that had been driving her crazy all week, all those firm, hard planes, gilt with fine silver hair that, even now, she was itching to feel again beneath her hands, to press and rub herself against—
She swallowed hard, her mouth dry despite the tea. Maybe she should re-think the whole ‘easier to be friends’ idea. It seemed there might be a serious flaw in that plan.
He was fully aroused, too, a fact she couldn’t have missed noticing, especially not when he came up behind her and planted his hands on the edge of the sink at either side of her hips, and pressed himself against her as he bent his head to nuzzle her neck. She knew enough about male physiology not to take his early morning erection personally. Still, it was damned hard to remember that, or any of her other good intentions, when she could feel it, hard, hot and tempting, teasing her butt through the thin velvet of her robe. She breathed in the scent of him and felt her heart pick up speed.
He kissed his way down the side of her throat, and her eyes slid shut as involuntary thrills of pleasure coursed through her. She twisted her head to the side, giving him greater access, and bit her lip as his mouth slid back up her neck again, all the way to her ear. “Come back to bed now,” he urged, “Let’s make it a really good morning.”
She sighed, regretfully. “I can’t. I have to go to work.”
“What, now?” he groaned, taking his hands off the sink and wrapping them tightly around her waist. “You can’t be serious. You’d leave me in this condition?”
She giggled, as his lips began to tickle the sensitive area behind her ear. “I have to. We open in an hour and I have to stop at home, first.”
“Why’s that?” he growled.
She could feel the edge of his teeth just grazing her skin and she put her teacup down in the sink, before it had the chance to slip from her increasingly nerveless fingers. “I have to dress, for one thing. I don’t really think I can show up for work like this.”
His laughter was warm against her neck. “Hmm. I guess maybe you do have a point there, after all. Okay,” he said straightening up, and releasing her. “Hold on a minute, I’ll go get dressed and ride into town with you.”
“What?” She whirled around to face him. “But, why?”
He shrugged, “Why not? I’ve got some things I need to do there, and I figured you could maybe give me breakfast at your store again, before I got started.”
“But don’t you want to take your bike?”
“Well...sure. I guess we could, if you want to,” he said on a yawn, “But I thought it made you uncomfortable, plus it’s a little hard to hold a conversation that way.”
“No, that’s not what I meant.” She paused. Damn it. It was really hard to form coherent sentences and watch him as he stretched like that, but apparently, it was even harder to stop watching. “It’s just that I—” She stopped again, struck dumb this time by the look on his face, as he froze in mid-stretch and glared at her.
“You’re not going to tell me you already have plans for this evening, are you?” he demanded. “Because I was really hoping I could take you out to dinner tonight.”
“No, that is, thank you. That’s very nice, but... if we take the van, we’re going to end up with the same problem we had last night.”
“Yeah?” His eyes narrowed, as he inquired. “Just what ‘problem’ are we talking about?”
“You know, about my getting back home, and all.”
“Oh. That.” He shrugged dismissively, “And is there any reason we can’t solve this ‘problem’ the same way we did last night?”
His voice grew gentle as he added, “Unless you’re trying to say you don’t want to spend another night with me?”
“No! I mean, yes. Yes, I do. Want to. It’s just...oh, I don’t know, Sam.” She looked away, as she forced herself to admit the truth. “You confuse me. I don’t know what you want.”
“Don’t you?” he asked, lifting her chin, and gazing deep into her eyes. His smile was slow and sensuous, and she felt her breath catch in her throat, again.
“No. I-I don’t. And I—”
“You should,” he interrupted, brushing his lips very softly against hers. “By now, you should know exactly what I want.” Again, his lips brushed hers. “Because it’s what you want, too.”
